Tonight, I was singing Molly to sleep. We were listening to Passion's CD and the song was "Here I am to Worship" and while rubbing her back and running my fingers through her hair ,I wondered if my Grandma would be proud of the kind of mom that I am.
Tomorrow will be 5 months since I was last able to wrap my arms around her and lay my head on her chest. Five Months since I told her how special she is to me, Five Months since I told her how much I love her.
Five Months, and when I think about the reality of never ever seeing her again, my heart starts beating really fast, like it is now, and tears welp up in my eyes, like they are now, and I have to talk myself into staying calm..like I am doing now.
The Circle of Life, it moves us all. And that silly Lion King song never held so much meaning to me, until the
Circle of Life, changed mine.
I experienced Life and Death all within in a matter of a few months last year.
Last night, I was cleaning my room, and I came across an old ticket from Ripley's Believe it or Not. It was from a weekend that Rick and I spent at the beach back in August of '09. The exact date on the ticket was August 30 2009.
Finding it brought back memories for me, because that weekend I was not feeling so up to par when it came to food. I had absolutely zero appetite, and when we got back home, it was just 4 days later on September 3rd that same week that I found out I was pregnant.
That day was one of the happiest days of my life at that point.
At that time,I would have never guessed that the best day of my life would soon become the worst day of my life almost to the day, one year later.
September 2nd the very next year, I lost my Grandma.
I will always talk about her and try my best to keep the memories alive.
I want my girls to know of her, even though they will never get to know her.
The grieving process has to be the most challenging task a human being has to face.
Though you still have SO much to live for, it's hard because it's like trying to go on without the beat of your heart.
This Picture is so Special to me for a number of reasons,
but mainly because this is the very last night that my Grandma ever held or saw my babies.
This is the last time I saw her, the way she was.
~Grandma & Molly~
Grandma & Emma
At the mall with my Grandma, this was the BEST shopping day
I have ever had. We made so many memories that day.
Rick with My Grandma. He always tells me how much he misses her.
I love hearing him talk about how special she is to him.
She is a very Special Lady.
Five Months, Too Long, But it's 5 Months closer to when we will meet again!
The Beat of my Heart, My very Best Friend. I love you forever and ever.
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