Back in June , I began calling around for preschool prices just to see what we would be looking at to send two kids to a preschool program for 2 days a week. One of the schools I called was one that I was very familiar with as I used to attend school there myself, many moons ago. :)
Just so happens after weeks of trying to get in touch with someone, I finally received a phone call followed by an apology for the delay in a response. Turns out they were going through staff changes and had no secretary or administrator!
With that said, I began praying about this possible opportunity that was now in front of me. I had a lot of reasons why this would be a great idea, my three big reasons and in no certain order were:
1. I loooooved the idea of being in the same school my kids would one day be in. I loved the idea of walking their same halls all day, knowing exactly what goes on in their class room, and having the opportunity to know their teachers on a personal level before having to leave my babies with them all day! And the bonus of being able to walk down the hall and look in their room at any time, just to see how they are, instead of just "hoping" or wondering if they were having a good day was a pretty big selling point for me!
2. Working at this school, provides me with an employee discount if i choose to send my children there. Without this added bonus, the idea of sending two kids to a Christian school would be pretty far fetched!
3. Lastly, I knew in my heart of hearts that my Pawpaw's time on earth was drawing very near. When my Grandma passed away, I became very very broken. I was home all day, with two small kids, I did not have the greatest support system, (sorry but its true) and my husband -who is very wonderful was limited on how much he could physically be there with me. He worked long hard nights and lots of overtime to enable me to be home raising our babies.
So through all of that, i felt very very alone and it added to the grief I felt from how badly I just missed my grandma. We talked almost every day. She truly was my best friend. I went through terrible depression when she suddenly passed away. I am still battling with some of that. But praise God, I have come such a long ways. With my Pawpaw being so near and dear to my heart, and with the wounds of losing my grandma still being so fresh, I was truly afraid of falling back into that same depression I was in 2 yrs ago, when his time came to leave. He was becoming weaker and weaker every day from the cancer that was destroying him and I just knew that I needed something big to come along and re-direct my focus. If I am at work-I can't lay around in my pajama's and cry all day. If I am at work, when I come home I will be so excited to see my kids from missing them all day. . Having a focal point was just something I knew would be good for me considering what I was about to go through yet again. Im sure if you haven't been "there", this probably all sounds silly- but in my honest thinking, and praying about whether or not this particular job was for me---these are all the things that told me it was a great plan.
Even through all the wonderful pros, I had my cons. My biggest con of all, was leaving my kids all day. It's not something I had done very many times before, and the fear of having to actually go through with it, weighed heavy on my heart. I confided in my Pawpaw about all of this, and through his wise, humble advice he helped me feel at ease.
After two interviews, I was offered the job. I took it. And I cried every single day on my way to work for weeks. I went through all of the "im abandoning my babies" emotions, but I toughed it out because Pawpaw had told me I could do it. And God told me to keep doing it.
Now let me tell you where I am now...... I LOVE MY JOB!!!!!!!! I truly love my working environment. The people I work with are just plain amazing. My boss is wonderful and truly respects his employees needs. I never once felt pressured to not go see my pawpaw because of my job, I never once felt like I couldn't be home with my sick baby because of my job, I mean it truly is encouraging to know you can go to work, enjoy being there, but also come home and not feel overwhelmed or burdened by a long day. And to know that my boss appreciates the importance of keeping my family first is so very encouraging.
I am the Administrator Assistant and also " Mrs. Accounts Receivable" for the school. I handle all the money coming in, all the invoicing, keeping up with all the accounts, assist the administrators in whatever their needs are as well as keep up with all the memo's etc between the school and parents. I help enroll students, keep up with student records, and I have had the chance to substitute teach a few times.
I just love what I do. I love the people I am surrounded by all day, and with out them even knowing- they have all been an incredible blessing to me through the loss of of my beautiful amazing Pawpaw.
Molly and Emma stay home with Rick on the days he is off and I have a friend who keeps them at our home about 18-20 hrs a week on the days Rick has to work. Without her help, I would not have been able to do this as I am not ready to enroll them full time into school just yet. :-) Knowing that they are at home in their own safe environment has made this transition from a stay at home mom- to a working mom much much easier for me!!
I miss them tremendously but I am doing this FOR them. I am doing this to afford the Christian education I desire for them to have, and I am doing this for the ability to be at school with them when it's time for them to start ,and I am doing this so I can be involved as much as much as possible with the people who will have my most treasured gifts in their care all day. And until it's time for them to start school, this has been just what I needed to help me as I go through the healing/grieving process due to the loss of my pawpaw.
So for all of my friends who have wanted more details on my decision to go back to work....there you have it. :-)
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