Remember

" Remember Your people, Remember Your children, Remember Your promise, Oh God"

I am going to start praying this over my babies. It's lyrics from a Chris Tomlin song called " Grace is Enough" if I was computer savvy enough to figure out how to put the you tube video in this blog I would.

I know that God has not forgotten my babies but its just a big disappointment to me that things seem to be taking us back to where we were 6 weeks ago.

I know that God is not to blame. If anything, I hold me responsible.

Nutrition is one of the few things I can do to help TTTS not be so bad so maybe if I would have eaten better, or laid a certain way more often, or stayed in the hospital longer maybe TTTS would have never came back. Maybe it would have. But the problem is I will never know. So here I am guilty.

I feel like I let my babies down. I let God down. I let me down.

But God is gracious. So my prayer is that He remembers His people ( all of us who have been praying and fighting for these girls) that He will remember His children (these two precious gifts from Him that are growing inside of me) and that He will remember His promise of Grace to all of us and continue to protect my girls.

Now for updates:

Dr B has decided that if the babies fluids do not level out within the next 3 weeks then it will be best to just deliver them. That will put me at 34 weeks.
3 weeks seems like such a short goal to reach so pray that they can reach it.

But if Accute TTTS tends to transpire before then, then of course they will come sooner. And as much as I hate to see them be in NICU so long, I much rather have them in NICU then have TTTS take them from me altogether. It's so scary for me to even type that. But TTTS is no laughing matter. It has unfortunately, claimed the life of many babies and the ones that have made it have had to be born way before 30 weeks so I am counting my blessings that God has allowed my babies to grow in me this long.

There are 3 types of TTTS

Chronic TTTS which is when twins develope TTTS before the age of viability. ( 24wks)
TTTS which is pretty much what we have, usually found between 24-30 weeks.
And then there is Accute TTTS which happens around or after 30 weeks of pregnancy.

Since I am in my 30th week now and TTTS has come back, my prayer is that it is NOT Accute TTTS but just the same TTTS we have been battling all along.

Accute TTTS happens rapidly, fluid build up out of control, and the health of the babies quickly declines often before its even noticed.

So while I would love for my babies to be healthy enough to make it to 34 weeks my ultimate prayer is that God would reveal to me and to Doctors the time to deliver where the babies would be safer outside of me then inside of me.

We had an ultra sound this morning and apparently all that fluid we had removed during the amnio yesterday didnt make the least bit of difference.

Molly had 9.1cm of fluid and Emma only had 1.9cm

So I am still in the hospital and will possibly have to have another amnio done tmw.

Please pray that the babies fluids will stabilize to where another amnio is not needed but if an amnio is needed please pray that it wont cause stress on the babies and that it wont cause me to go into labor if its not the right time for them to be born.

Thank you all for following our story and for thinking of us and calling us and being there for us through the good, the bad, and the ugly.