Still Raining...

*further updates at the end of this post*

This morning DR B came in and did an ultra sound. I am thankful that Molly's fluids did not get worse but I am sad that they did not get better either. She had 9.1cm and Emma had none. :(

So they are prepping me for another amnio in just a few. It is 10:45am and Im imagining within the next 30 minutes or so they will be in here. They already have all the supplies in here, staring me in the face. ugh.

They had to move me to a different room then what I was in, in order to do the amnio. When I got wheeled into my new room I cringed because it is the same exact room that I spent the first two weeks of this TTTS journey in. And as soon as I started to think...bad luck of awful flash backs...I then remembered that this is also the same room that God used to break me and to put me back together and it is also the same room i was in when he chose to SAVE my babies.

So maybe this room will hold good things for me today afterall.

I know that many of you have heard this song before

"And I'll praise you in this storm
and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are
no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm"

But this morning listening to it trying to prepare my heart for this very stressful procedure a verse in this song stood out to me that has never really hit me before. And when i truly heard it, it brought tears to my eyes.

I was sure by now,God, that You would have reached down
and wiped our tears away,
stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say amen
and it's still raining....

I have prayed and prayed and prayed and given God so much praise for saving my babies, yet it is STILL raining. They are still battling this crummy TTTS and it just breaks my heart!!!

Talking to a dear friend, I asked her WHY. Why is it STILL raining when I have proclaimed LIFE over these girls every day for months now.

She said to me

" It is still raining, but the storm has passed. God has brought you so far from where you were weeks ago"

And she is so right.

Thank you for reminding me of that.

It is still raining, this battle is not over but the storm has passed. The scariest parts of it all are over and day by day God is still protecting my babies.

TTTS is back but it is NOT worse, and it could be. So God still has His hand over my babies.

I am humbled.

Now off to prepare my mind for this amnio reduction. They are so stressful and painful for me. But its all for my girls. Totally worth it. And in just a few weeks they will be in my arms.

I cant wait for that glorious day.

* I posted earlier this morning before my amnio, it is 9pm and I am just now getting to post updates post-amnio because I have been in SO much pain all day.

The amnio itself went great. They were able to get as much fluid off as they wanted
(1600 cc) and they used a different type needle so it allowed the amnio reduction to go much faster. What would normally take about an hour and ten minutes only took 35 minutes. So Im glad that it didnt last as near as long as it normally does.
However, the rapid removal of fluid did cause me to hurt much much longer once the reduction was over.

I am very anti-drugs even when it comes to tylenol because I just dont like the idea of medicating my babies. But when they do these reductions, I take whatever I can get because I hurt more than I can stand. And today they gave me novacaine,valume, and morphine and nothing gave me relief.

The amnio was over around 12:30 and come 4pm the pain had not ceased. They offered me more morphine but I declined. I was already nervous about the meds I had already taken. I didnt want to dope my girls up any more than I already had.

At anyrate, Dr B said that he really feels like this amnio is going to work. He said if it does, then I could definitley get to atleast 34 maybe even 35 weeks. However, he said if it didnt work, he wasnt sure that I would make it that far because the biggger my uterus gets and the more it is irritated by the reductions the bigger the chances for labor or my water breaking.

SO just keep praying for my babies. I would love for them to be able to stay in me as long as possible. HE said that their fluids and premature birth as a result of the amnios are really the only concerns he has. He said both girls are very healthy and are doing wonderful. And so far my body cervix, water, etc...are still in tact so no worries of labor due to that.

This saturday was suppose to be our 4th attempt at a baby shower. But given I am back in the hospital it kinda put a damper on things. But then my sister throwing the shower suggested doing a drop in throughout the course of the day at the hospital so that I could still somewhat get my baby shower.

I talked to the nurse about a drop in and she said that it would be okay but that they had a classroom on this floor that I could use instead so that we could continue on with our actual shower. I was nervous about this because DR B said before that I should be on complete bed rest. So, I declined the classroom and decided to just stick with a drop in so that i could stay laying down in my bed.

But today when talking to DR B he told me that He really wanted me to do my shower in the classroom. He said that I would be okay for an hour or two and that he really wanted me to be able to have fun and enjoy myself and that he could get me propped up somehow if needed.

So I guess we are still having our shower.

I am looking forward to it!

Dr B and Dr H and the nurses told me over and over how proud they were of me and how great I did thru the procedure so half way out of it, I asked Dr B, "why do you keep telling me you are proud of me? What else would I do? The reduction has to be done."

He said yes it had to be done, but you would be suprised at how many women would not let me complete an amnio reduction because they couldnt tolerate the pain.

I said to him "what do you mean, they wouldnt finish it? They wouldnt do it for their baby?"

He said you would be suprised at what a lot of women wouldnt do for their baby. So I am proud of you for going through with it this many times for your babies.


Gosh. What an encouragement. I love my Doctor.