Hide and Seek

Well so much for getting rest last night to help my dizziness subside.
About 3:45 this morning I got up to go to the bathroom, ( and all you momma's and momma's to be know exactly what thats like). I can look at a glass of water and have to go.
At anyrate, when I got back in the bed just about to doze off the nurse comes in to adjust the babies moniter because apparently they werent tracing, due to me most likely knocking them off the moniter in my sleep.

Well she comes in and picks up Emma's heart rate immediately. But for over 30 minutes could not find a heart beat on Molly. And usually this does not scare me when they cant find her because the moniter even picks up their movement. So if she is moving, you will hear a bunch of static on the moniter and that helps me to not freak out. I know that the moniter just cant trace her at the moment because she is so active.

Not the case this morning. This morning it was completely quiet and no heart beat. So the nurse went and got the doppler, ( another tool used to trace the heart beat) and still could not find her.

My insides wanted to panic. But instead I just prayed and prayed. God PLEASE let me feel her move, let her be okay, let us hear her heart beat. PLEASE.

And then this song came to me that has been on mine and Rick's heart lately. And its called "You never let go" by Matt Redman

One of the lines in the song is "I will fear no evil- for I know my God is with me"

I just kept repeating that over and over in my head.

After the nurse couldnt pick her up the Doctor came in about 4:30 this morning to do an ultra sound and the second he put it on my belly I hear "thump thump thump"

Thank God! Apparently, she was just playing a game of hide and seek.

I swear these little girls are gonna do me in before they even get here.

Im told once they are born I will always worry just as much about them but in different ways. I see clearly why so many moms say this is the hardest job but the most rewarding.
Its really exhausting having to be so concerened every second of the day.

I really need to start praying for God's peace more. I know that He does not want me to be anxious or to worry but to trust Him fully.

So anyways, after we found her heart beat you would think I could get back to sleep. Well I doze off for maybe 45 min and then the Tech comes in and wants to check my vital signs! Really? Cant taking my temp wait? Im exhausted!!!

So then she leaves and again I go to fall back asleep and its not 20 min the nurse is in here to give me my thyroid pill. Oh gosh, NOW maybe I can get to sleep.

Oh but then wait, food service, housekeeping, and then the Doctors all come in right after the other. And here it is 10:30am and I still have not made it back to sleep.

SO, might as well blog about it! haha

Doctor B. said this morning that I am still going home tmw.

So please pray that all of our needs will be met once I get there.

I asked him what exactly he means by bed rest and well, it means exactly what I thought it meant. I cant do a darn thing!

He said only leave the house for Dr appts. And I can get up to use the restroom and to shower and thats it.

So im wondering, do I not eat when my husband is at work or what? I dont have Food service to bring me 3 meals a day like I do at the hospital.

This is going to be a big adjustment for me, but This too shall pass.

And when it does, my healthy beautiful gifts from God will be in my arms.

Enjoy the song!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y83-vMeWc9E

It really is encouraging to be reminded that through every high and every low He never lets go.
He surely has not let go of me, rick, or our little girls. He has not only healed our babies but He has healed our hearts as well.

Ill be so glad when this bed rest is over and my girls have made a safe entrance into the world . I miss church SO much!!! That's one of the first places I will be going once I am able to finally leave the house again. :)

Thank all of you, again for all your prayers. I seriously dont know where we would be without all of them.