SC State Fair 2012

We were super excited to take the girls the to the fair this year. This was their first year getting to ride the kiddie rides! Last Wed. I took off from work early and we went and spent the afternoon into the evening at the fair. We had such a great time. 

This was the girls very 1st fair ride!

Race cars with daddy!

Emma was such a ham, I would catch her with a different facial expression every time 

the car would whip around the track 

  

 My Sweet Loves!!

Speaking of race cars, retired Nascar driver Rusty Wallace paid a visit to our fair. 

Rick was excited to meet him in person!

This submarine ride was the first in the air ride the girls have ever been on. :)

I am not a fan of heights but they had so much fun that Daddy literally had to pull them off when the ride was over. :-)

Slides are one of their favorite things everywhere we go. 

So this gigantic slide was a super hit for them!

Daddy & Emma

  

Smiles to the very end!

Mommy & Molly

We also watched the Sea Lion show while we were there. 

It was so funny watching them dance and back it up and every thing else!

 Molly laughing her head off and clapping for the seals! 

Does it get any more innocent than this???

Oooh, Mommy and Emma on the Bumblebee ride!!!!

Rick says Emma got cheated because I was too scared to put the Bee in the air. haha 

I unashamedly admit, that yes I was too scared to go in the air. 

I hate heights!

But she still had fun! She didn't know that her sister was behind us flying high! bahaha

Daddy & Molly! 

My favorite thing about the fair....FOOD!!!!

Emma enjoying her a Pronto Pup!

  

Molly eating her some Pronto Pup too

And in case you didn't know. 

Pronto Pups aren't just ANY ole corn dog.  

They are the BEST kind of corn dog!

My SIL introduced me to them and I am now a Pronto Pup believer! :-) 

We ate all kinds of sinful good foods! AAAAND we got the girls their very first bag of Cotton Candy!!

And what do you know...they were not a fan. LOL 

Oh well, I enjoyed it for them. :-)

Fair Family Photo-2012 

And a flash back to the 4 of us this time last year at the fair! 

Daddy is wearing the same shirt! LOL 

 

Mommy & her sleepy babies at the end of a very long but 

fun day at the fair! Already ready to do it again next year! :-)

Half Way to Where???

Half way to 3!!!! 

O.M.G! 

I can not believe that my baby girls are over half way to their 3rd birthday!!! 5 months left to go! 

Completely unreal to me! 

Here is an update on how my sweet peas are doing. 

MOLLY

 

You are  a complete and total giggle box! It takes hardly zero effort to bring a smile to your beautiful face!

You are still a snuggly momma's girl and you love individual attention. 

You are doing so well with learning your academics! 

We currently are working on your shapes and colors. 

You can name almost every object on your flash cards now. Things like, Sled, Rake, Mop, Top, etc..

You usually do pretty good with counting 1-10 but sometimes you get the numbers a little mixed up :) 

You love a good Disney Movie. Your favorites now are anything princess, or Lion King! 

We only have Lion King on DVR so Lord help us, if for some reason it ever gets deleted because you are border line obsessed with that movie! 

You are only taking Physical Therapy once a month now! Woo-hoo!

You have come so far with that little leg of yours. 

The biggest goal we have been working towards is helping you feel safe enough to go down steps without holding on and without help. I am so excited to say that after MUCH practice and hard work you FINALLY reached your goal!!!

It was a huge milestone for you and you were just as proud of yourself as I was proud of you!!

We were at Finley Park and they have over a 100 steps from the bottom of the park that lead all the way to the top of the park where the fountain is and we walked all the way up them and you did great! When we got ready to come down them, you were a little hesitant at first but Mommy encouraged you to do it by yourself and I promised to stand next to you so you wouldn't fall and once you got to the 2nd or 3rd step, you just took off from there!! 

You went down over 100 steps with ZERO help!!!! I was 100% amazed by your hard work!

Look how focused she is coming down those steps!

And when  she hit the very LAST step she BEAMED with pride and joy!!!

Bless her sweet heart! I just love her! 

You are in speech therapy twice a week. We are working towards helping you fully pronounce your words. 

You tend to say things like "Ca" instead of "Car" or "Lie" instead on "Lion" , etc. 

But you have managed over time to achieve every other goal set for you, so I am not the least bit worried. Just proud. So very proud of my big girl!

We got a little off track with potty training ( ok, a lot of track) when I was going back and forth to Fl so much to see Pawpaw, so we aren't quite potty trained. But we will soon get back into the swing of things. You will  often go potty when asked to go sit on the big girl potty, so I know you are ready when I am. :) 

Some of the things you say right now that make me giggle are " my tur"  (every time Emma is doing something you want to do, you quickly tell her "my tur"...my turn.) You will say "shhhhhh" put your finger over your mouth and so sweetly say " be quiet, mommy" if I am telling you something you don't want to hear. lol I never tell you how hilarious that is to me. 

"I won bru my teef" ...translated " I want to brush my teeth...I hear this almost every day from you as well. 

 And the one that never misses a day is " I won shoe. I won go bye bye" haha!

If you have been home or inside for most of the day you will come to me and tell me you want your shoes on and pretty much insist I take you bye bye. 

" I so hungy"  as you rub your belly...you will tell me this every time you are ready to eat. 

It is the cutest thing ever!

You talk 100 miles an hour and rarely stop, that is unless you are deep into a movie. :) 

You love all things "nack" and you love to eat any and every kind of food for the most part! 

But some how you are still my skinny minnie! 

Molly Bear, if you don't mind...Please slow down a little! You are just getting too big too fast!

I love you so much baby!

EMMA

Oh my pretty girl, you are truly growing up before my eyes. 

You are so smart, and you have such a drive to learn. 

You are doing great with counting. 

We are now working on numbers 11-20 because you are pretty consistent with knowing numbers 1-10. 

We are learning shapes and colors and you pretty much know all of your object flash cards. 

Yesterday, Mommy was coloring with you and I asked you if you wanted me to help you write your name and you said to me "But mommy, I don't know how to write my ABC's" ....that may seem like not 

such a big deal , but I was truly amazed that you realized writing your name, meant having to know how to write your ABC's! It's just the simple things that you come up with that truly blow my mind! 

\

You are Mommy's Little Helper.

You love to help mommy do all kinds of things. You love to help me bake, you love to help me clean, you are a little mommy to your sister, you are always so helpful and you do a great job at following instructions. 

You talk so well and some of  the things you say really crack me up. 

When it is time to get dressed you always tell me 

"Mommy, I want my booful on" ...hehe

You are all about being beautiful. You love to wear dresses, and skirts...those are what you consider "booful" when you ask mommy to put your booful on you. 

And after you get dressed you smile real big and say "  Wook, I so pree, I so booful" 

or you will say " I  wanna show daddy, I so pree"

Melts my heart. 

 When you are tired, you always tell mommy " i want my paci, I want my blanky"  Yes...you still have your paci. But only at sleep time. :)  You are an out door lovin' girl. You love to play outside. You often ask for "chick chick & finch fye" meaning...you want nuggets & fries...you want McDonalds. :-)
Daddy has you hooked on his favorite fast food place.
You recognize the Gamecock Logo as "Gamecocks" ...Daddy has waited his whole life to hear his offspring say "Go Gamecocks" so you make him proud with that for sure.

Mommy is so proud of how big you are getting &  how much you are learning!
I love you so much pretty girl!

Catching Up

Wow, it has been such a long time since I have blogged about Molly & Emma & all the stuff we are up to these days. Let me start with a brief (brief-do I even know what that is?) recap of our summer.

Boating!

Thanks to Grumpaw ( my dad ;) ) we got to spend a  lot of time out on the lake this summer! The girls thought they were something getting to go out on this boat! They loved it so much!

Birthday Parties

I failed tremendously at taking pictures this sunmer. The girls had several birthday parties over the summer but I did not take many pics. I have been a slacker with this stuff lately. Completely out of character for me, but I will get back on track eventually. :-)

Playing on Kaylee's new swing set!

Happy 4th Birthday Kaylee!

We had fun at your water slide birthday party! 

For Megan's birthday we celebrated at Monkey Joes. 

Molly & Emma love that place! 

We were all having a great time until my sister's car got broken into. Lots of money & weapons those rotten slugs stole. :-( 

I hated that for her! 

Megan was rather excited about her birthday present from M & E!

Personalized necklace! Isn't it sweet? 

The flash kinda washed it out, but...

you get the idea! 

Baking!

I have introduced the girls to helping mommy cook! They are the cutest bakers ever!

They really are great at following instructions! They make me so proud!

 Pawpaw

Spent so much time with Pawpaw over the summer.

This is our very last picture together. 

Good God, I miss him. 

Water Park!

The girls had lots of water fun this summer! Including trips to the water park!

Playdates!

We stayed busy with playedates over the summer for sure!

The girls actually ask for their shoes and to go bye bye almost daily!

They love to get out and have a good time!

The picture below is the babies in our TTTS Survivors group!

Addison & Peyton are double survivors and Charis has an Angel sister named Katheryn, and Alisabeth also has an angel sister. These ladies have touched me, their babies have inspired me, and meeting them all has helped bring healing to my heart. I quietly struggled with symptoms similar to PTSD after going through my own TTTS journey and then soon after, unexpectedly loosing my Grandma.
Fear and anxiety consumed me. I distanced myself from being involved with other TTTS victims just because I knew I couldn't handle having to re-live my own TTTS journey through them. But meeting the moms in our TTTS survivors group has moved me in ways I just cant explain. All i can say is, it's been a good thing and I am no longer afraid to be involved!
Taking baby steps, but I know God wants me to step out, and help others who are going through what I went through. 

 Molly & Emma have gained a new friend through our survivors group. Her name is Ella!

It was love at first sight :-)
Ella is Charis & Katheryn's Big sister. 

Also, this summer, I started my new job!
I went back to work for the first time in over 3 years.
I would love to share more a bout that and details about what the girls are doing saying and learning these days, but I will have to save that for another post. It is waaay past my bedtime.
But I will try to post again soon and more often.
Oh, also I have updated all my pictures.
Click HERE and then you can click on the album links you wish to see.
August, September, and Sophia's 2nd bday are all new pics!
Until Next Time...

How to Deal?

Two weeks ago today, my precious Pawpaw's battle with cancer came to an end and He joined my lovely Grandma at the feet of Jesus.
When my Grandma passed away, it was by far the hardest thing I have ever dealt with. I am still learning to "deal" with it. For a very very long time, following her death, I sunk into a terrible depression. I was angry, crying, bitter, and everything else. And then a year after my Grandma passed, my Pawpaw found out that he was diagnosed with terminal cancer.
So then not only was I completely broken over who I had already lost, but I then became shaken over who I was about to loose.
For the past year, I have watched my Pawpaw die in front of me. It has been heartbreaking, scary, and all other kinds of emotions I don't even have the words for. It has just been extremely hard. Every day that we talked, I never knew if it would be the last or not. Every time I saw him, I didn't know if there would even be a next time.
It has been a roller coaster of fear for all of us.
He however, remained confident, faithful, and thankful until his very last breath. The faith he consistently held on to through his journey with cancer has helped me be strong.
Because he openly talked  with me about the fact that he was dying helped give me a sense of peace that I wasn't able to have when my Grandma unexpectedly left this earth.
He was able to help prepare my mind & my heart for life without him, through his willingness to discuss so  fearlessly about the fact He would soon meet Jesus.
The phrase "Praise Him through the Storm" was surely my Pawpaw's legacy that he left behind. He never once complained or expressed fear or anger about the fact he had cancer. Instead, He always without fail thanked God that it wasn't as "bad" as it could be.  He couldn't eat, or drink, or even walk in the end. But still he "Praised the Lord" (his words) that He wasn't in pain or hungry. He always, saw the glass half full.
His spirit and his attitude through his journey with cancer, has left such an impact on me and I will never ever forget it.
He told me to stay strong, and after witnessing day in and day out how strong he remained through this entire process it has motivated me to carry his strength, and keep my head held high.
I know that if I just sit at home, I will think, I will cry, I will get angry, I will fall back into the depression I was in when my Grandma died. I know this because I know myself. My grandparents were the absolute #1 people in my life. There was no question about it. I could never ever in enough words explain how close and how valuable they were and still are to me. Rick and I spent our honeymoon with them bc my Grandma was too sick to travel, and I did not want them to miss out on seeing me in my dress. So I took my wedding gown to them, and we had our pictures made together.
I can never think of a time that I wasn't close to them. I Just remember them always being there. And now they aren't.

I have kept myself so busy because I don't want to be left alone with my thoughts. I don't even watch TV at night because I don't want my mind to wonder. I literally go go go until I crash at night.
All the while, I am going, I am doing so with a heavy heavy heart. I just want to stop and cry, for just 5 minutes I need to grieve. For just five minutes I need to let it all out. For just 5 minutes I need to just scream and ask God why why why??? But I am too afraid to. So I continue to just go.

Today while driving the girls to a birthday party, they fell asleep in the car, so it was just me, myself and a whole lot of baggage I have been carrying around. The tears began to fall. And I have felt stuck this whole day.

I am so completely overwhelmed by the thought that not only is my Grandma not here but my Pawpaw isn't either. How did this happen??? How did the two people I have admired my whole life, get snatched away from me? I never imagined losing them. I know in reality people don't live forever, but I just never thought that they would die.

When my Grandma died it was the first time I had to deal with something like this, and honestly if I was being graded on how I handled it...epic fail would be the score.
I have told myself that I would do it differently this time because Pawpaw has put so much faith in me to stay strong. This is the last thing I will ever get to do for him. So I am trying so hard to make him proud.
But PRAY for me. Because I miss him terribly. I miss sharing stories about my kids with him, I miss hearing stories about him and Grandma in the days of old, I miss the encouragement and comfort he gave me when I was down. I miss feeling my Grandma's spirit alive in him.
I so badly just want to mope around and be sad and let myself feel the pain that is deep inside me. But I am fighting it. I am trying to keep myself together. But today when I had my mini melt down, and haven't been able to pull it back together, I decided that I am probably in need of a good date with my blog.
Maybe if I just blog it all out, I will feel better, and tomorrow will be a better day.

But then again, what if tomorrow isn't a better day? Tomorrow is the 2 year anniversary of my beautiful amazing grandmother. And I am still not over her death.
I am not sure how to deal with this circle of life thing. I have never had to do this before, 2 years ago I almost lost my 2 beautiful baby girls, and when they survived, I thought my life would finally be completely whole. But in the two short years of their life,  I have lost 2 other very special people to me. And here I am. Trying to make sense of it all, and it's just not clicking. I am a very emotional person. So trying to hide my emotions is not something I am at all good at.

I had a revelation today on my quiet drive to that birthday party.
I don't need to ignore my pain. I don't need to pretend my Pawpaw did not die. I don't need to stay so active to keep from dealing with my grief.
I just need to learn to handle this kind of stuff in a graceful way. If I need to cry, cry. But then pick myself up and finish out my day. Don't let my grief consume my entire being.

I am so used to leaning on them for emotional support. That I now just feel so lonely they aren't here and it makes my grief even harder to manage. So i try to ignore it, because I don't know how to deal with it. They aren't here to tell me what I am suppose to do. I feel completely stranded.

I am going to get through this.
I just needed to let out this really long ramble because all day long I have missed my Pawpaw and Grandma tremendously. I have wanted to talk to them so bad. I have wanted to hug them, and just feel their hands against mine. I don't have that. And I will never for as long as I live, ever have that again.
 I don't want to be a basket case every day. So for today my blogging, is my outlet.
If you have managed to read all this, kudos to you.

I really just needed to vent.
Now that I have let it out, hopefully, I can rest a little better tonight.

Fun with Cousins

Molly & Emma played with their cousins this evening, & here are some of my favorites of their time together.

Silly Giggle Faces! 

I think this one is my favorite! It has so much character to it!

It humored me when I saw their faces, & then I saw the sign above Uncle Rick's head.
:-)

Jackson is such a helpful big cousin! 

Look at my sweet Molly's big ole grin!

Love this of Emma & Savannah! Sweet girls!

haha! I know her face says differently, but they really love this thing!

Molly

Emma

Oh Lawd, she just may be her Daddy's girl after all!

Is that a hug or a choke hold? LOL 

We had a great time being together this evening! The girls loved getting to play with their cousins!

Weekend with Granny

We have been blessed the past few days to have Rick's Granny stay with us. 

We truly enjoyed having her here, and so did the girls! 

I didn't take many pictures (shocker!) but we did make many memories and that's what really counts. :-)

Story time with Granny

 And Giggles with Granny! ;)

We love you Granny! 

We are so happy that we got some extra time with you!