Florida Bound!

I am so sad but my computer is in a funk right now & it will not let me download or edit any pictures or add any pictures to my Picasa ( online albums).
Needless to say, a new computer  is on my list. :-)

However, I did manage to get a few unedited pics onto this post, and as soon as I am able I will be sharing the others!

For my birthday, I got to spend a much needed trip in Florida with my Pawpaw, husband, & sister!
I truly had the absolute best time with them. 

My sister Toni was nice enough to keep my babies for me while we were gone. I sure did miss them & sent them videos every day so that they could still see mommy :)

Bye-Bye Picture with our Babies

Here we are just as we were about to leave....

And this is our view as we were walking out the door. 

Aunt Toni reading them a story

So sweet! I know the girls had a great time playing with their cousins. They always do!Megan & Emiee treat them like Royalty & they eat it up. :-)

I can't thank Toni enough for doing this for us. Time with my Pawpaw is so important to me, especially during this time, and I am not sure it would have been made as possible had she not allowed us to disrupt her busy schedule for a few days.  So I am grateful, to say the least.

We had a nice road trip on the way down , and since we arrived in Florida so early ( 5am) we decided to go watch the sunrise on the beach  to kill time instead of waking Pawpaw up so early.

Rick & I at Sunrise

This is how I got to spend my birthday :)

We had a great time on the beach together, and I am anxious to share all of our pics, as soon as this computer gets straightened out!

Love this Wonderful Man with All My Heart

The day after my birthday would have been my grandparents 60th anniversary.
Oh how I wish, my Grandmother would have been here to celebrate it. However, it was special to me that I was able to spend it with Pawpaw on her behalf.

Since my Grandma's funeral, I have never been to her grave site.

So before we left for Florida, a special friend spent hours with me in a craft store helping me put together the perfect floral arrangement to be able to take to my Grandma's Grave.

Every arrangement that we came up with, I came up with a reason why it wasn't good enough.

Several bouquets later, finally one seeemed worthy enough to take.

Yet I stood there, in a blank stare with the bouquet in my hands,

unable to walk myself to the check out line.

30 minutes later, in the middle of the aisle, I broke down and cried. This was going to be my first time going to Florida, that my Grandma wasn't going to be there. There is no I way  that I am ready

to come to terms with the fact that for now on, every trip to see my Grandma meant going to see her in a cemetery.

So with her arms around my neck, my friend forgave me for wasting her entire evening on flowers I never bought.

Thankful for friends who are there for me, in those kind of moments.

Maybe one day, I will be strong enough to go there, but for now I will embrace that wonderful lady through all of our wonderful moments shared, &  in my heart I will celebrate the life she lived so beautifully.

 Please continue to keep my Pawpaw in your prayers. I am still so numb to the fact that he has cancer. Most days, I try to pretend it isnt true.  But I know that isnt reality, and one day I may have to accept it. But in my heart, I just refuse because I have seen God do great things, as Molly & Emma are proof of that. So, I hold on to the hope that my Pawpaw will have a much longer & healthier life left to live. And because of  that is another reason why, I couldn't go to my Grandma's site. My Pawpaw will be buried right next to her, one day. And with him not being well, the thought of standing over both of their graves was just way too much for me to fathom.

I have depended on them so much my whole life, I just cant comprehend one day, actually having to live this life without either of them  here for me.

Life is a strange cycle. We all live to die. And I don't really like that idea.

It was hard leaving Pawpaw, this visit but we had the best time. We laughed, We went down memory lane, we took walks on the beach, we went shopping, we shared many meals together, I got to meet the hospice staff that is helping care for him , I got to see his huge home grown plant garden. It is amazing the hundreds of gorgeous plants he grew on his own. I mean wow.

Oh I enjoyed my time with him, and I look forward to many more visits like this!