I Choose to Believe

I Choose To Believe

One Year Ago Today, Heaven Celebrated as
God Gave a Very Special Angel Her Wings

In Your Last Days
 I Laid Awake at Night so Afraid
I Watched You Struggle for Every Single Breath
And Deep in My Heart I Knew
You Could not Escape Death

I Wanted to Save You but I Knew I Couldnt
So I Stayed By Your Side
Even Through the Night

Held Your Hand Tight
And Prayed to God with All My Might

I was So Broken as
I Watched You Slip Away
And I Even Begged your Doctors
To Help Make You Stay

PawPaw Held Me Near
As Your Doctors Eyes Filled with Tears
She Explained to Me
That This was Sadly Going to Be
The End of Your Beautiful Journey

My Mind Could not Comprehend
Having to Live This Life without My Very Best Friend

I Looked You in Your Eyes and Asked You
If You Knew
How Very Special You Are to Me
And Though You Could Not Speak
Your Body So Weak
You Squeezed My Hand Tight,
 And We Both Just Cried

Not a Day Has Gone By
 That I Havent Longed to be Close to You Once Again

You Were My Grandma, My Confidant,
My Closest Friend

Only Because of the Faith You Instilled in Me

 Have I Made it This Long Without You Beside Me

 I've Held on to What You've Taught Me to Believe,

And That's Because of Jesus

 Each Day is a Day Closer

'Till  Again We'll Meet

I Miss the Way We Use to Laugh Until We Cried,

The Way We Would Stay Up Talking all  Day or  Even at Night

The Secrets We Shared

The Conversations We'd Dare

The Truths You Told

With Your Heart of Gold

And the Way You Lived, Just Like Christ Did

You Had This Beautiful Demeanor

That Brought Joy to Every Room

And My Life  Now

is So Much Harder Without You

Though I Can't See,

I Choose to Believe

 You are Watching Over Me & Our Family

You Had Great Expectations of What Life After Death Would Bring

And You Talked Daily, About How Beautiful the Angels Would Sing

You Wanted to Run & Jump Like You Havent Been Able to in Years

And Whisper to Jesus "I Love You"...Directly in His Ear 

I Have Wondered Every Single Day,
 If  Death was All That You Thought it Would Be?

Because of the Faith You Lived in Front of Me,

 I Choose to Believe.

I Choose to Believe that God Gave You the Life

That is Promised in His Word

And I Choose to Believe that You are Now Living the Beauty

Of Every Scriputre, Every Verse

Oh Grandma,

My Heart Aches for You to be With Me  

I  Sometimes Need You More than Even the Air I Breathe

And While In My Heart, You are so Very Near

It's so Hard to Not Have You Physically Here

Because You are No Longer Living a Life of  Pain

Is the Only Joy from This Loss

That I Have Gained

You Gave Me a Kind of Love, I Never Knew

And You Believed in Me Through & Through 

Because of  You

I Choose to Believe

It's not Pretend
Death wasn't the end

You are Now One of God's Most Precious Angels

And You are Guiding Me

I Am so Thankful for the Nights that God Gives Me a Glimpse of You

I Know You Would Stay Longer, if He Allowed You Too

You Continue to Be the Most Amazing Woman to Me

I Still Feel Your Love, and You Giving Me Strength

I Have a Long Journey Ahead of Me Here

And You Taught Me to Not Live This Life in Fear

So I Will Carry On 

And Faith Will Keep Our Spirits Near

There Are So Many Emotions

That I Cant Even Find All the Right Words to Say

But I Choose to Believe You Know Them Anyway

You Mean the Absolute World to Me,

And I Gladly Hold on to Every Memory

And Though Heaven Must Be a Blast

I Choose to Believe

You Too, Still Cherish the Times

Between Us That Have Passed

   

I Love You Forever and Ever Grandma 

 And With Every Beat of My Heart

I Choose to Believe Though You Aren't Near,

We Are Never Really Far A Part.

Jan 5, 1933-

Sept 2, 2010

Below is a video my sister graciously made for me, of some of the most precious times I shared
with an Amazing Woman, that I was fortunate enough  to call,
 not only
My Grandma, but also My Best Friend.


Please view the video below, as it brings me so much peace 
 being able to keep her memories alive.