Its been quite sometime since I have updated everyone on the girls. A few quick things about them are:
On 9/9/10 I took them to the DR because for a couple weeks now they have had a cold. Also learned they had the beginning stage of an ear infection so for 6 days now they have been on antibotics. Hasnt really helped their yuckies go away but im sure it has helped their ears.
Emma weighed 13lbs and Molly weighed 12 lbs 11.5oz
They are scooting on their backs now.
They can roll from back to to tummy and from tummy to back. Except, on their back to tummy,they both tend to get all the way over then cant figure out how to pull that arm out so they get mad and just flip right back to their backs.
They are not enjoying their cereal.I have to trick them to get them to eat it by stickng their bottle in their mouth after every time i put the spoon in their mouth.
They have finally gotten used to taking their medicine for acid reflux but they fight me like the devil when I give them their antibotics.
Splish Splash they love their baths and love making mommy just as wet as they are.
Molly seems to be the laid back one these days. Emma is very LOUD when she wants to get her point across. :) And the girl does NOT like waiting to eat. Seems like as soon as that 3 hrs rolls around she is letting me know. Molly, not so much. She is very patient when it comes to when its time to eat.
Molly LOVES her sleep. Emma however, takes little cat naps. She much rather play!
A couple weeks ago I posted pictures and a blog about our first family vacation to Florida and my grandparents getting to meet my girls for the first time.One week after we got back we got a phone call that my grandmother was very sick and in the hospital. Right away we left and headed back to Florida.
I spent 10-12 hrs a day up there with her and longer than that when I was able to stay the night with her. I had never been away from my girls before, and to be away from them for the first time to watch my Grandma die, was by far the hardest thing Ive ever done.
I was there for 5 days before she passed away.
My Grandma and I had a very special relationship. We could talk about things with eachother that we could never talk about with other people. She would tell me often times "you are the only one I can say this too" and I would say to her many times as well "grandma i cant tell anyone else this.."
My Grandma is the best woman I know.
So Strong, Beautiful, Friendly, and no matter how much pain she was in she always kept her joy.
She had this journal that she wrote letters to God in. I have never known someone to love God and have a relationship with Him the way she did.She talked to Him as if He were her friend. Some of her journal entries would start out "Good Morning to You God" and then with that she would follow with her prayers for the day. Many times in her journal she talked to God about being in her wheel chair. She would say "God, I really want to walk again. But if this chair is for your Glory I will stay in it for as long as you want me too"...such a strong woman. She truly loved God and she LIVED it.
My Grandma wasnt afraid to die. She always talked about meeting Jesus and how she couldnt wait to walk again. When we were there on vacation visiting her, we went to church with her and she would flag down everyone she saw to come "meet her twins" she introduced me to JB and she said "this is JB, he's gonna sing at my funeral!" and she said it with a big smile on her face as if she looked forward to it! Me on the other hand cringed and said "Grandma dont talk about that!" Little did I know it was right around the corner that he would be singing at my Grandma's funeral. He sang so beautifully "If you could see me now", and "I will Rise".
We keep our radio on WMHK and everytime those songs come on, I break down. Those songs have such different meaning to me today.
She wasnt scared. She was ready.
I however, was not ready. And i am still scared.
I miss her so much. Even on days that I am not a basket case, I constantly feel like I have this hole in my heart. This weight on my shoulders. Always fighting back the tears. Every Morning I wake up and every night I go to bed, I long for her. She isnt just a phone call away for me anymore, and though she is pain free and "dancing with Jesus"...it doesnt erase the pain I am left with here on earth.
My Grandad whom we all call Paw Paw...is also very close to my heart. I have been very fortunate enough to always have such a great bond with him and my grandma. There is no one else in the world like the two of them. Meet them once, and you have been blessed. Humble, Giving, I could go on.
They were married for 58 years, 59 years this November. Their anniversary is the day after my birthday. Please pray for Him, I know the pain I feel missing my grandma. But I couldnt imagine what he is feeling. They spent a life time together. They shared 58 years of their lives together, had children, grandchildren, and now great grandchildren. What an incredible journey they have shared.
My life has been drastically changed. My Grandma was the beat of my heart. She was my closest friend, my Rock, the glue that held our family together, and my biggest prayer warrior! If I asked my Grandma to pray about something she didnt just pray about it. She prayed until it was resolved. I always had a special comfort knowing she would pray me through life.
Her laugh still echoes in my ears.
I could write a million things about her.
Watching her go through that last week, has really damaged me. I am not sure how I will pull myself up out of this. I know that I have to put on a big happy smile for my girls and I do-because they dont know anything, and they still need their mommy. But on the inside I feel like a big part of me died. I feel like I am falling apart.
Really Truly the Best Person I have ever known. I Miss her so much. We were so close, and I feel so lost without her.
Rick and I would have never been able to spend as much time with her in her last days that we were able to if it werent for such special people in our lives that helped us so much with our kids during this time.
Thank you to each of you, you know who you are.
And personally, I would have never made it through any of this without my husband. He is my backbone. I am very thankful for him.
Grandma, I'll love you forever and ever. Cant wait until I see you again.
Erika, that is exactly how I felt when my Mama died two years ago, its like a part of you dies right with them. But let me tell you it does get better but it does take time. You are going through something called grief and the grief cycle does last a long time but the sun will come back out to shine. You will have good days and you will have bad days, there will be days where you won't even know what hit you and you will just start crying for no reason at all what so ever and then at the end its because you're missing that one person that you love so very very much. Since its been two years that my Mothers has died the sun has come back out for me but I still have my bad day. There are certain movies that I know I cannot watch. I could go from having an incredible day to just crying my eyes out or looking at her pictures at the end of the day. When she first died all I wanted to do was be with her, but I knew that I couldn't leave my sweet five year old back then three. Your Grandmother is in Heaven now and she is dancing with Jesus and she is always going to be with you. I know that you have probably heard that millions of times but it is really true. The first two years I would always have visits and conversations of my Mom in my dreams. And to me they were very real. I remember the first dream that I had, she told me all about Heaven and the people that we knew up there already. And when I told her that I had to go because I was getting freaked out she was always sad to see me go. But she knew and then I would wake back up. There were other dreams where her and I owuld just go for walks. I remember one time I had to take this huge test in College and I was so nervous about it, I took the test and kept having these awful dreams that I failed the test, the day before I got the test back I had a dream and my Mom told me "you did it, you did it". And I did I scored a 92 :-) So my sweet Erika, it will get better, thank God you were able to go down to Fl to have her meet your girls, I am sure that your Grandmother is very proud of you. I know I am :-) I have an entire book about heaven if you ever want to borrow it. Let me know if you need anything, I am always there to listen, I can relate because I've been down this ugly road before. I love you and the sun will come back out to play, right now its storming in your life. I remember when My Mom first died, its like a Tornado ripped through and tore everything I had away. Poof just like that. Call me if you need anything!
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