Be Still...

We had another ultra sound yesterday. Molly had 7.2cm of fluid and Emma had almost 5cm! She was at 4.8cm.
So the good news is that Emma is maintaining her fluids and she and Molly dont have a drastic difference in their levels however please pray that Molly's fluids don't go past 8cm.
And please continue to pray that Emma will continue to maintain her fluids.

We are suppose to have another growth ultrasound this week to check and make sure the girls are still growing equally in size.

Last time we had a growth ultrasound we were very blessed to know that the girls were very close together in their sizes. This is a big deal because the main side effect of TTTS is that one baby is drastically deprived of what it needs and is usually atleast 50% smaller than the other baby. This so far, because of God's grace has not been the case for us.

Please continue to pray that my placenta will continue to do what it is suppose to in order to distribute equal amounts of blood flow and nutrients to the babies so that they can stay close in their sizes.

Please also pray that I will be able to remain pregnant for several more weeks. At anytime TTTS can attack the babies and I will be forced to deliver. So just stay in prayer with us that TTTS will NOT have a chance and that my body will allow my babies to grow and develope inside me for as long as they need in order to have a healthy entrance into the world.

It has been almost a month since i have been in the hospital and since we found out what our girls are suffering from. This has been the hardest month of my life. There is not a second that goes by that the worry and burden and fear just does not tear me up inside.

God has been so gracious to give my baby girls so much extra time inside of me. More time in me is less time out of me that they will suffer. And I am so thankful for His grace. But I can not help but worry about what tomorrow will bring. And I know that I am wrong in this. I know that God expects me to put complete trust and faith in Him and honestly I am trying. I just feel so desperate and out of control and this is such a crummy way to feel.
My little girls today, are doing great. Today they are strong. Today they are healthy. Today I am still pregnant. I have so much to be thankful for today that it just seems silly to worry about tomorrow. God has watched out for my angels this far surely He will continue to do so.

Today when talking to my mom a verse popped in my head, a verse that I havent heard in quite a while. A verse that I will continue to repeat to myself over and over every time the enemy tries to use fear to attack me.

It was Psalm 46:10 " Be still and know that I am God"

That's really all I have to do. Worrying will not change the outcome of what may or may not be in store for us. So I just need to Be Still. God had everything planned out for us way before our journey ever even began, so I need to place all that I am in Him.

My sweet grandma told me today how brave I am. I just wish that I felt as brave as she sees me to be. I dont feel brave. I feel scared. But hearing my grandma say that, really warmed my heart. Because I can be brave and scared at the same time right? This would be the part where I would normally say, im not sure how to be brave...but I do. Bravery comes from Being still and knowing that He is God. And I must embrace that.

I can not say enough how much of an encouragement so many of you have been to me. My spirits have been lifted so many times by your words of encouragement.

Thank you for continuing to lift my baby girls up in prayer. Please don't stop! I look forward to sharing with you the more good news that is to come.